Even the clean-up crew will turn you on! alkəmē Cabaret is a slightly cheeky and ridiculously sexy exploration of the four elements: fire, air, earth and water.

I had the pleasure of sitting at one of the cabaret tables right in front of the stage – or, as I like to call it, the danger zone. As in, DANGER! A performer may guide your hand towards his chiselled abs, or you might combust from Wild Kat’s smoking hot fire breathing! Either way, go easy on the hairspray.

After Wild Kat got the room all hot and bothered, Matthew Pope gracefully embodied the element of air as he levitated towards the ceiling with his dreamy aerial silks. Honestly, this show had me convinced that he was Elphaba the way he was defying gravity.

Hey, speaking of musical numbers… Tory Kendrick brought the whole house to its knees with her powerful, sultry and utterly intoxicating voice. Our hostess with the mostess kept the crowd alert with unexpectedly flirty games of Never Have I Ever, and kept me on my toes with all her outfit changes. Someone, please, tell me! How does she get her pants that sparkly? And where do I get myself a pair? Of course, while all of the performers were incredible, the biggest stars of the evening were the dancers!

The choreography was stunning – equal parts sexy, silly and charming. I was so impressed by each dancer’s strength, agility and flexibility. You can tell they put everything into their performance, and loved doing it. Plus, not to brag or anything, but I’m pretty sure one of them winked at me! (swoon).

Look, I don’t want to spoil any more of this show than is strictly necessary. alkəmē Cabaret is the kind of show you have to FEEL for yourself – from the heat of Wild Kat’s fire on your skin, to Tory Kendrick’s gorgeous voice reverberating through your chest. So, here’s the last thing I’ll say: when you go to this show, and a contraption that looks like a game of hangman rolls onto the stage, prepare to get WET!