TW: This show and review contain references to sexual assault.

Wearing a smartwatch with a pink Athenian dress, comedian Gillian English blends present and past with stunning wit as Helen of Troy; the world's most beautiful woman.

Gillian English draws from Homer, Euripides, and Herodotus to conjure an ancient Greece infused with modern pop culture and insightful social commentary. Her comedy is reminiscent of a hilarious bar conversation with someone whose humour happens to be her sole defence against a pile of trauma the approximate size of mount Olympus.

Beauty tips, boobs, and the dehumanisation of women feature heavily in this original retelling of Greek mythology, infused with humour, irreverence, and feminist undertones. The unreality of so-called beauty and a lack of female agency are framed by tales of Gods who need to go to therapy and Goddesses whose self worth is determined solely by perceived physical attractiveness.

Anachronistic and hilarious, these tales include a hero in drag on the Isle of Lesbos with his “best friend”; the curse of being a correct woman accused of suffering from insanity; and a series of non-consensual “seductions”, all of which are structured in such a way as to highlight apparent normalisation before cleverly turning patriarchal cultural conditioning on its problematic (but oh so pretty!) head.

Conversational, yet perfectly worded, this nuanced fictional narrative uses superficiality to deconstruct gendered concepts of culture, autonomy, and body image. Gillian English repeatedly shatters the surface in order to delve into the depths of historiography, misogyny, and the apparently flattering (?) nature of sexual assault against women.

Gillian English snatches her own wig before giving the best beauty tip of all. If you want to know what it is, you’ll just have to see her show. You won’t be disappointed.

1000 Ships: A Guide to Ancient Womanhood provides outstanding comedy with substance, depth, and comfortable shoes. Don’t miss this boat.